Three Questions – I asked – To Find Another Vocation

I had spent 27 years in professional ministry—everything from youth director to church planter to Senior Pastor. And in 2019, I resigned from a great church where I had the privilege of serving as Senior Pastor and stepped into a new world of coaching and Real Estate.

It was a big life change.

So how did I get here? It came down to three questions:

1. What am I good at?
2. What do people say I’m good at?
3. What are the fears that keep me from doing it?

1. What am I good at?

This is an important question to wrestle with—because, honestly, many of us don’t know. Or at least, we don’t dig deep enough to really understand.

We often stay at the surface: “I’m good at washing dishes.” Okay, but what does that really mean? Does it mean you should go work in a restaurant? Maybe—but more likely, it points to something underneath.

Let’s go deeper.

For example, I’m not particularly good at dishwashing—but I am good at organizing my garage. That tells me something. Over time, I’ve learned that one of my strengths is bringing structure and order to chaos. And that strength shows up in different ways—whether I’m developing a business, building systems, or coaching people toward clarity.

So take a look beneath the obvious. Ask yourself:
What am I really good at—and what does that tell me about where I can thrive?

2. What do people say I’m good at?

Sometimes the people around us see our strengths more clearly than we do.

For me, feedback has come from my wife, my kids, and close friends—often in casual conversations.

• My son tells me I’m great at smoking BBQ.
• My daughter says I give great speeches.
• My wife often tells me I’m good at conflict resolution.
• My friends say I’m a strategic thinker.

None of this came from a formal evaluation. It came from everyday moments—offhand comments, observations, even jokes. But taken together, they paint a picture of the gifts others see in me.

So what do people tell you you’re good at?
It could be writing. Empathy. Leading teams. Problem-solving.

This question matters because people tend to notice what feels effortless to us—but is impactful to them. When you tune in to those clues, you begin to see a clearer vocational path. And if you’re not sure, just ask. Invite a few trusted people to share what they see in you. Their insights might surprise and encourage you.

3. What are the fears that keep me from doing it?

Now comes the hard part: naming the fears.

Fear, in its healthy form, keeps us safe. A fear of oncoming traffic is wise. But many of our fears—especially vocational ones—keep us stuck.

I’ve been in the ER twice due to fear-driven anxiety. After several heart tests, the doctor came in and said, “Mr. Lowe, we don’t think this is a heart issue… we think it’s anxiety.”

And behind that anxiety? Fear.

Fear can be paralyzing. It whispers lies like, “You’re not good enough,” or “You’ll fail if you try.” But here’s the truth: fear is often the biggest obstacle to living out your calling.

Is your fear about failure? You’ll never succeed without it.
Is your fear about risk? One leader once said, “We either risk or we rust.”
Winston Churchill put it this way:

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

I need that reminder almost daily. Maybe you do, too.

So let me ask again:

• What are you good at?
• What do others say you’re good at?
• And what fears are holding you back?

List them. Name them. Then take one small step forward—in courage.

One last note…

You may have noticed I haven’t framed this around “doing what you love.”

Of course, loving your work matters. But here’s the caveat: just because you love something doesn’t mean you can (or should) do it for a living.

I love golf. But I’m never going pro—unless “approach shots into the trees” becomes a league of its own.

Instead, I’m convinced that if you lean into what you’re truly good at, and you stay curious about it, you’ll start to love it even more.

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